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Chapter 1084. Contemplating (4)
“Orabeoni~!”
Kang Jin-Ho chuckled slightly at the sight of his little sister, Kang Eun-Yeong, trotting toward him by the front entrance.
‘It's like she's an actual puppy.'
Hadn't she been repeating this routine for a few years now? She should be commended for keeping it up for so long even though Kang Jin-Ho never really responded to her antics.
“Orabi, how about something to eat before... Ng?”
Kang Eun-Yeong suddenly stopped talking and began scanning Kang Jin-Ho from top to bottom.
Kang Jin-Ho cocked an eyebrow. “What’s the matter?”
“It's your vibe. It kinda feels off? Hey, did you have an argument with Yeon-Ha unnie?”
“...No, I didn’t.”
“Then, why is your vibe so chilly?” Kang Eun-Yeong asked while narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
Kang Jin-Ho sighed under his breath. “Where’s mother?”
“Out on a date with dad.”
“...Really?”
Kang Jin-Ho’s parents sure seemed to enjoy a great marriage, didn’t they?
Kang Eun-Yeong tilted her head slightly. “How should I put this... They are trying to live their lives again now that their kids are all grown up?”
“Mm...”
Kang Jin-Ho slowly nodded back.
What an odd feeling this was. He wasn't feeling rueful for receiving less attention from his mother or father, though.
‘Living their lives, is it...?’
Although he was taking it for granted these days, he shouldn’t forget that his father, mother, and Kang Eun-Yeong all lost their lives in a car accident during Kang Jin-Ho’s first life.
Thanks to him changing their fate, his family survived and now were searching for their own slices of happiness, too.
‘Changing their fate, is it...?’
While mulling over this odd feeling, Kang Jin-Ho headed to his room.
“Orabeoni~? What about food?”
“I’m not hungry. Why? Were you going to cook for me if I said yes?”
“No, but we do have ramen.”
“...Thanks for letting me know.”
Kang Eun-Yeong triumphantly nodded. “Well, if you insist, I can make it for you, you know! Only because it's you, orabeoni!”
“...No, it's fine. I know how to make ramen, at least.”
Kang Jin-Ho chuckled again while entering his room.
***
After taking a shower, Kang Jin-Ho sat in the lotus position on the bed, which was something he hadn't done in a while.
From a certain point on, his cultivation no longer required his conscious effort to continue.
His cultivation journey initially began with physical training before entering the meditation phase. Nowadays, though, merely meditating was no longer quite good enough to improve his cultivation.
At his current realm, meditation had become nothing more than a method to discipline himself. But that was exactly what he needed right now.
One unanswered question continued to occupy most of his headspace for some time now. And that was...
...Why shouldn’t he be the “same” as in the past?
Kang Jin-Ho didn’t question this notion until recently. Because the answer seemed exceedingly clear: the era was not the same.
In Zhongyuan, strength ruled over everything. Things like laws and regulations, the imperial court, and the local governments all existed back then. Even so, people in Zhongyuan were governed by those with strength rather than the distant imperial court and its laws.
As such, cultivators like Kang Jin-Ho didn’t have to mind various cumbersome things.
To achieve something, all he and others had to do was get stronger. As long as one had strength, everything else would soon follow. One wouldn’t have to worry about troublesome things like the demon cult’s crackdown.
A world where strength was everything—indeed, that was what Zhongyuan was.
But this was the modern era. South Korea, to be more specific.
Since the land one called home had changed, it was inevitable that one's way of life would have to change to match the surroundings, too. And in this place, strength alone wasn't enough to survive.
...At least that was what Kang Jin-Ho believed until recently. However
, his belief got challenged, and what he thought was right was shaken up ruthlessly.
‘Is it true? True that strength isn’t enough to live in this era?’
Or was it the case of Kang Jin-Ho lacking enough strength?
Could he say it wasn’t the case?
As he pondered, the noise in Kang Jin-Ho's mind settled down and clarity returned.
‘The answer is clear.’
The reason why Kang Jin-Ho could rule Zhongyuan with his strength alone was quite simple. That was because the demon cult’s power exceeded that of the government back then!
Even if the imperial court wasn't as committed to ruling over Zhongyuan back then, it'd still have waged a full-on assault just as the demon cult began its reign over the land in dispute. But that was not what happened in reality.
Instead, the imperial court and the ruling government kept mum. Even though the demon cult was clearly breaking the law and did whatever it wanted with Zhongyuan...
The government forces didn’t try to stop the demon cult. The imperial court instead pointed its sword at the foreign enemies.
‘Foreign enemies, is it...?’
What a laughable story that was. Even though enemies clearly existed right in the middle of its gut, its brain desperately searched for an external enemy instead. Since the imperial court had no confidence of winning, it had tacitly acknowledged the demon cult and let it have its way.
The demon cult’s power was the reason for that state of things back then.
Then, what about now? What was so different about the current Kang Jin-Ho compared to his old self from the Zhongyuan days?
It’d take forever to point everything out. Even though that was the case, there was only one fundamental difference. And Kang Jin-Ho knew very well what that was.
‘...I’m still too weak!’
Yes, that was the difference. He was still not strong enough!
The true powerhouses never got bullied or swayed by the era they lived in.
Kang Jin-Ho could rule over Zhongyuan despite his murderous antics because no one dared to challenge him for a showdown.
The strength to overwhelm everything transcended things like good and evil. The demon cult ruled over Zhongyuan because its strength could suppress its own infamy.
All the unfavorable conditions trying to hold the cult back were overcome through sheer strength.
Why did Kang Jin-Ho get betrayed and lose to the combined attack of Zhongyuan’s top masters in his last moments? Was it because he had decided to make the Records of Asura available to the masses? Or because he was separated from his personal guards who were prepared to sacrifice their lives for his cause?
...Or was it because Azure Demon had betrayed him?
No. It was none of the above.
‘Because I was not strong enough.’
He couldn't win because of his lack of strength. If Kang Jin-Ho had been stronger, Azure Demon wouldn't even have dared to betray him.
Even if he had to endure torturous unfairness and illogical behavior of his boss, even if he had to witness Kang Jin-Ho dragging the demon cult into the flames of Hell...
Azure Demon wouldn’t have dared to stop Kang Jin-Ho.
However, Kang Jin-Ho was too weak back then. Or, to be more precise, he wasn’t strong enough to discourage others from challenging him.
The demon cult members chose to obey Kang Jin-Ho even at the potential cost of their lives not because he was a cruel and overbearing monster. And he certainly wasn't a leader of overwhelming and overpowering charisma, either.
No, he only had his strength and not much else. Pure strength that didn’t require any other modifiers or adjectives—that was what made him the leader.
What about in this era, then? What was different now?
Kang Jin-Ho was stronger than the Elder Knights. That was why he managed to subjugate the Round Table and turn it into one of his underlings. Had he tasted defeat against the Elder Knights, it would have been the Martial Assembly getting crushed to the ground instead.
How Kang Jin-Ho stopped the Japanese invasion was also quite simple. If he hadn’t already boasted enough strength to deal with all the invaders by himself, he wouldn’t have cooked up the out-of-the-box idea of fighting them off in the middle of the ocean.
How did he survive the encounter with the Crimson King? How did he get to subjugate the Yeongnam Group without too many losses to his side?
How did he get to devour the Martial Assembly in one go?
Before all that... How did he protect his family, who were originally destined to die in a car crash?
There could be only one answer. Because Kang Jin-Ho was strong!
Thanks to his strength, he got to charge forward at a breakneck speed. Sometimes he’d ponder. Sometimes he’d worry and rack his brain. But none of those things could slow him down.
However, he realized he was encountering more and more crossroads lately. Choosing one road meant he'd have to give up on the other.
Why was this, though?
‘...Because I’m not strong enough.’
The true powerhouse didn’t need to choose anything. If they wanted something, they could have it all!
“Choice” was something a person who didn't have enough power to have everything must grapple with.
This experience with the government clearly taught him a simple yet stark lesson. Kang Jin-Ho’s “strength” wasn’t strong enough to overcome the world’s “strength.”
When Kang Jin-Ho’s only goal was to protect his family, his strength proved absolute. Which meant he didn’t have to ponder this topic in depth. If he wanted something, he could just take it. If someone got in his way, he only had to kill that hindrance.
In that small, limited world, Kang Jin-Ho had one job, and it was to decide which direction he'd like to go next.
However, what about now?
‘It’s not enough.’
Kang Jin-Ho’s strength was simply not enough!
Opponents he must contend with from now on were no longer small or limited in scope. Actually, he should be honest with himself and say they were massive and incredibly powerful.
Whether it was the Crimson King’s faction, Shinichi-kai, or the Korean government, Kang Jin-Ho in his current state couldn’t possibly win against them.
The politicians tried to crush him, yet he couldn’t use his strength to fight back.
The Crimson King and his goons tried to kill him, yet all he could do was turn tail and flee.
The Japanese attempted to defile his home with their tainted feet, yet he couldn’t punish them for it.
Why? Because Kang Jin-Ho didn’t have enough strength. He was still too weak!
If only Kang Jin-Ho had been strong enough to trample on them mercilessly, his response to all these events would’ve been different.
In summary, events conspiring to torment him all happened because of his own lacking strength.
Kang Jin-Ho knew he had become too weak. So weak that he had to mock himself for it.
Kang Jin-Ho slowly opened his eyes. They were so much more withdrawn and icy than before.
He did struggle a lot to get this far. No one would accuse him of not putting in enough effort until now. He knew he wasn't as strong as his past self, so Kang Jin-Ho tried everything he could to survive.
Since he wasn't smart enough, he found someone to think for him. Since he didn't have enough combat strength, he unhesitantly spent his resources to make his people more combat-ready. While doing all this, he didn't hesitate to accept anyone who could prove to be helpful.
By doing all this, he got to fill the void. He kept filling it up and up, yet...
...It was still not enough!
To the point where his thirst was threatening to overwhelm his senses now!
Now that he knew what the cause was, shouldn’t he...
You need more power, don’t you?
Kang Jin-Ho closed his eyes again. Even though he kept suppressing and killing the one inside, Crimson Demon had not disappeared until now. However, he shouldn’t be surprised by that.
After all, Kang Jin-Ho and Crimson Demon weren’t two separate beings. And no, they weren’t two sides of a split personality, either.
The truth was that the Heavenly Crimson Demon Emperor persona was nothing more than a path he walked on in the past. Since that persona was him, it couldn’t be exorcised out of him.
Even though Kang Jin-Ho had tried to kill and erase it numerous times, this persona continued to revive. And it'd do so until Kang Jin-Ho's final moments.
After all, Crimson Demon was a facet of Kang Jin-Ho that desired more power, now wasn’t it?
The corners of Kang Jin-Ho’s lips curled up weirdly. He now knew.
He knew the reason why his thirst couldn’t be quenched no matter what.
‘I need to become stronger.’
Even stronger than his past self!
Despite acquiring so much strength that he couldn't rise any further, Heavenly Crimson Demon Emperor still failed to protect the most important thing to him... his life!
Survival was his one overriding wish since the beginning, and he had basically sacrificed everything to attain it, yet in the end... he couldn’t protect it during his final moments.
All because he wasn’t strong enough!
Kang Jin-Ho wasn't sure when this mindset began but genuinely thought that, as long as his strength could rival Heavenly Crimson Demon Emperor's, he should be able to do everything his heart desired. 𝘯𝑜𝘷𝘱𝘶𝘣.𝘤𝘰𝑚
The realm attained during his time in Zhongyuan was so lofty and impressive that Kang Jin-Ho wasn’t sure how long he’d need to reach it again with a new body. Heavenly Crimson Demon Emperor possessed overwhelming power that could have crushed the mere likes of Kang Jin-Ho with one finger.
By regaining that lofty realm, Kang Jin-Ho believed he could acquire everything necessary for him to live.
After all, the current era was full of weaklings, wasn’t it?
But now, he knew the truth. The modern era was not weaker than Zhongyuan. Actually, the level of malice hidden behind the facade of mundane and ordinary was so high that it easily exceeded the one found in Zhongyuan!
The slimy politicians and their power were greedily reaching out to him. The vicious opponents were constantly trying to kill him.
The only way to quench his thirst while surviving against all these factors was...
“I must become...”
...Stronger than my past self!
“...Stronger than Heavenly Crimson Demon Emperor!”
What an obvious solution that was. Despite how obvious the answer was, Kang Jin-Ho still had to take a very long way around to reach it.
The corners of Kang Jin-Ho’s lips curled up even higher, albeit eerily slowly.
‘And I will become stronger.’
Stronger than now. Stronger than his past self! Strong enough to ensure everything he held dear would not slip through the cracks anymore!
He'd become stronger. And stronger. And even stronger! Until he reached a point where his strength was the only key needed to unlock everything he wanted!
Kang Jin-Ho’s gaze drifted toward the world outside the window.
‘If I wish to reach out...’
He continued to stare at the starless night sky in utter silence until the break of dawn.
