NOVPUB"Why am I here?"
Silence filled the cell. Everyone had paused their eating to stare at Elias.
Elias hid his surprise as he stared back at them, wondering what possessed him to speak out loud.
Finally, Thorn broke the silence. "What do you mean?" he asked, a confused look on his face.
Elias sighed deeply. He had no other options but to speak up now.
"Why am I here?" He repeated himself.
"Think about it. Right from the time we left House Underwood, if you remove me from the situation, nothing would change."
"No one that wouldn’t have died, wouldn’t have died. No one that would have lived wouldn’t have lived. My presence changes nothing!"
Thorn wanted to speak but at that moment, Elias was like an avalanche. He just couldn’t stop.
"I know what I am! A guard. But what is a guard without something that needs protecting?"
"Nothing! I’m nothing!"
"There’s nothing for me to guard. Nothing for me to do. I’m just dead weight."
"But I can’t abandon my duty. Lord Underwood ordered me to guard Lilith with my life. I won’t disgrace him by leaving my post unattended."
"But that’s the problem." He finally tapered off.
"There is no post anymore." He said, voice low.
"So, what am I to do now?"
"Why am I here?"
Silence filled the cell.
There was a common emotion in all the people present in the cell.
Surprise.
Elias because he’d gone on such a long rant, and the rest because this was uncharacteristic of Elias.
They’d never seen Elias this worked up before. He was always calm. Cool. Collected.
Yes, he never did stick out like the rest of them, but his presence was like a pillar. As long as Elias was calm, it meant that everything would go well.
While Ren was the rock of the group, he was the pillar. The one who made sure they were all balanced. He didn’t know it but when they were in battle, they mirrored his emotions. They relied on his ability.
His usefulness went beyond preparing dinner or guarding their rear.
But how would they pass that across to him when he was already convinced that he was useless?
Ren opened his mouth to say something when Thorn chuckled.
"You know," the guard spoke, "I thought it was just me."
Elias looked up, eyes going wide.
"I know what you’re going to say." Thorn spoke before Elias could say anything. "At least I have my jokes right?"
"But how useful are jokes if we get attacked by a horde of sea monsters?" Thorn chuckled. "I understand how you’re feeling Elias, cause I feel the same thing everyday."
"I won’t try to give you any reassurance on how you’re important, because you’re never going to believe me."
"You see a useless man, but I see a man who is always keeping himself of Lilith’s mental state in order to make sure we are all safe."
"I see a man so dependable, he’s pretty much our voice of reason. I see a man with a high situational awareness who is always composed."
"And above all else, I see a friend." Thorn smiled. "And guess what?" 𝖓𝔬𝔳𝔭𝖚𝖇.𝔠𝔬𝖒
"A friend is never useless."
He smiled sadly.
"We’re like flints, Elias. We’re not used all the time, but we’re meant to be taken out in time of great need. To help those around us light their fire."
"And that, my friend, is just as valuable as being a sword."
Thorn smiled at Elias.
Elias thought about it and chuckled. "I always did forget that you had a way with words."
"And I can tell you’re not convinced." Thorn retorted. "But don’t worry. One day, you’ll see."
Elias exhaled. Thorn was right. He wasn’t convinced. But he hoped that one day, he did see. Because this tunnel was pretty dark. There had to be a light at the end of it.
They resumed eating in silence, each one mulling about what had just happened. Well, everyone except Lilith who was thinking about Ren.
And not because she didn’t care about Elias, but because she trusted him. It was Elias. He would find his way out of this. He always did.
And if he couldn’t, she’d give him the push he needed. With her throwing knives of course. She chuckled to herself at the thought.
Thorn was thinking about his own life. He’d been where Elias currently was. But he’d been given a purpose.
Ren had given him the order. To live his life to the fullest. And he would try his best to do that, even if it means being the comedic relief. As long as he was having fun.
As for Ren, his body moved mechanically, and while he ate, his thoughts were on how he’d been… negligent.
He should’ve caught this before it happened.
Oh, he’d noticed it. The way Elias hesitated sometimes. Not enough to be detrimental, but enough for him to notice. The way he spaced out sometimes.
He’d been given the man personal space to work out his issues but he should’ve caught this.
But even if he did, what would he have done?
He knew more than most that the only person that can save someone is themselves.
Sure, others could lend a hand but it was up to them to grab it.
He couldn’t solve everyone’s problems. He wasn’t a god.
And while he wasn’t trying to solve everyone’s problems, it sucked that he couldn’t solve all the problems of those that mattered to him.
As he took his final swallow of his food, his nerves tingled and a brief sense of euphoria swept through him.
His vision grew hazy, and he almost dropped his spoon. Luckily, nothing had changed outwardly, and no one had seen it.
But Lilith had detected the flicker in his soul.
"Again?" She whispered.
"Yeah." He sighed. "Again."
It had started ever since the final battle at Edenhold.
Ever since Unfettered Enhancement had boosted him to the highest amount of power he could get to with all the current types of magic he had.
He hadn’t used even half of what he’d been capable of against the Chained Man but that didn’t matter.
He’d been given more than he’d been mentally prepared to handle.
And right now, he was in withdrawal.
