NOVPUB
Chapter 86: Basic Couple Etiquette
Zayn sighed deeply, slumping into his chair as he found himself in yet another ridiculous situation.
The dining hall was obnoxiously grand, the kind of place where a single plate probably cost more than his entire wardrobe.
The table stretched far — so far, in fact, that if someone at the other end wanted salt, they’d probably have to send a courier pigeon.
The chandeliers sparkled overhead, the polished floors gleamed, and everything smelled... expensive.
Across from him sat Cedric and Isadora, the noble lovebirds.
Beside him sat Celestia, the source of all his problems.
The maids moved swiftly, serving dishes that looked almost too perfect to eat — glazed meat, fresh fruits, golden bread, and soup that shimmered under the light.
Why does soup shimmer? Zayn had no idea, but this place had a habit of making the mundane feel excessive.
He picked up his fork, ready to eat quietly, but then —
"Ahhh~"
Zayn froze mid-motion.
Celestia had turned to him, lips slightly parted, eyes twinkling with amusement.
"...What are you doing?" Zayn asked slowly.
Celestia batted her eyelashes. "I’m waiting to be fed."
Zayn stared at her. "What."
Across the table, Cedric chuckled. "It’s only natural. Couples feed each other, after all."
Zayn sighed deeply, slumping into his chair as he found himself in yet another ridiculous situation.
The dining hall was obnoxiously grand, the kind of place where a single plate probably cost more than his entire wardrobe.
The table stretched far — so far, in fact, that if someone at the other end wanted salt, they’d probably have to send a courier pigeon.
The chandeliers sparkled overhead, the polished floors gleamed, and everything smelled... expensive.
Across from him sat Cedric and Isadora, the noble lovebirds.
Beside him sat Celestia, the source of all his problems.
The maids moved swiftly, serving dishes that looked almost too perfect to eat — glazed meat, fresh fruits, golden bread, and soup that shimmered under the light.
Why does soup shimmer? Zayn had no idea, but this place had a habit of making the mundane feel excessive.
He picked up his fork, ready to eat quietly, but then —
"Ahhh~"
Zayn froze mid-motion.
Celestia had turned to him, lips slightly parted, eyes twinkling with amusement.
"...What are you doing?" Zayn asked slowly.
Celestia batted her eyelashes. "I’m waiting to be fed."
Zayn stared at her. "What."
Across the table, Cedric chuckled. "It’s only natural. Couples feed each other, after all."
Zayn immediately pointed his fork at Celestia. "We are not that kind of couple."
Isadora tilted her head, smiling. "Oh? You seemed like that kind of couple earlier."
Zayn felt his soul leave his body.
This entire fake dating situation was already spiraling out of control.
What had started as a simple deception to help Celestia out of an awkward situation FOR THE GOLD had turned into a full-blown romantic fantasy in the minds of these nobles.
And now, apparently, he was expected to hand-feed this chaos incarnate sitting beside him.
Celestia tapped her lips. "Come on, my darling. Just one bite."
Zayn placed his spoon down. "I am not doing this."
Celestia pouted. "But Cedric feeds Isadora all the time."
"That’s Cedric’s bad life choice, not mine."
Cedric smirked. "You wound me."
Isadora giggled. "It’s alright, Celestia. Some men are just too shy to show affection publicly."
Zayn turned to Celestia. "You told them I was the strongest warrior you knew. And now I’m too shy?"
Celestia grinned. "Multifaceted personality. Makes you more interesting."
He exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Fine," he muttered. "One bite. Then we never speak of this again."
Celestia gasped in mock delight. "Oh my gods, my boyfriend is so sweet!"
Zayn regretted everything.
With the enthusiasm of a man dying inside, he picked up a spoon, scooped up a small amount of soup, and held it toward Celestia’s lips.
She closed her eyes dramatically. "Aaaah~"
Zayn shoved the spoon in her mouth just to get it over with.
Celestia chewed slowly, savoring the taste before flashing him a smug smile.
"Mmm~ It tastes so much better when you feed me."
Zayn dropped the spoon like it had personally betrayed him.
Across the table, Cedric nodded approvingly.
"Now that’s a man who knows how to keep his woman happy."
Zayn wanted to throw himself out of the nearest window.
Celestia, still smirking, leaned in closer. "Your turn."
Zayn blinked. "My what?"
Celestia picked up a piece of bread, broke off a bite-sized piece, and held it up.
"Say ahh."
"No."
"Come on, you just fed me."
"That was under duress."
Cedric leaned forward, smirking. "Zayn, my friend, a relationship is about give and take."
Isadora giggled. "It’s only fair."
Zayn clenched his jaw. "I hate this."
Celestia waved the bread in front of his face. "Ahhh~"
Zayn stared at her, then at the bread, then at Cedric and Isadora, who were watching way too intently.
He had two options:
Either he could fight this ridiculous battle to the death and be labeled a cold, heartless boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate his "lover."
OR
Accept his fate and pretend to be a devoted man for five more seconds.
And it seemed he had made a decision.
With the longest sigh of his life, he leaned forward, bit the bread, and chewed.
Celestia clasped her hands together. "Aww, look at him! So adorable when he eats~"
Zayn swallowed. "I will end you."
The maids actually swooned.
Cedric raised his wine glass. "To young love."
Zayn physically twitched.
Celestia raised her own glass. "To my wonderful, strong, handsome boyfriend."
Zayn turned to her, voice low. "I will make you pay for this."
She winked. "Oh? Is that a threat or a promise?"
Before he could respond, a maid leaned down beside Isadora and whispered something into her ear.
Isadora’s eyes widened slightly before she turned toward Celestia.
"Celestia, your parents have sent word. They want to see you immediately."
Celestia’s fork froze mid-air. "Oh."
Zayn, seeing her suddenly tense up, frowned slightly.
This was new. Celestia never tensed up.
She let out a forced laugh. "Right. Of course."
Isadora smiled softly. "They probably just want to congratulate you on your relationship."
Zayn flinched.
’Oh no.’
Celestia, still smiling, turned to him. "Oh, darling~ Would you mind coming with me?"
Zayn narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
Celestia leaned closer, whispering, "Because if they find out I’m lying about this, I will be disowned."
Zayn blinked. "What?"
Cedric cheered him from where he sat. "A chance to meet the in-laws already? My, you two are moving fast."
Zayn turned to Celestia in horror. "I’m meeting your parents?!"
Celestia squeezed his hand, her smile sweet but her eyes pleading. "Please just pretend a little longer?"
