NOVPUB
Chapter 38 - Kai(4)
Kathlyn felt the black river twist around her like smoke, like breath, like thought.
This time, it didn't show her a picture or a scene.
It poured into her.
Not like a memory.
Not like watching from the outside.
But like she was thinking the words herself.
> Hello.
My name is Kai.
I'm 17.
A dropout.
A NEET.
Kathlyn sucked in a shaky breath.
The words weren't just in her ears. They pulsed in her chest, her ribs, her skin.
The river wanted her to feel them.
To know them.
> And despite what people might assume, there's a strange kind of peace in it all — like floating in still water, the world around me muffled and far away.
She saw flashes.
Kai sitting cross-legged on a floor strewn with papers and old snack wrappers, a computer screen glowing dimly beside him.
A window with the curtains drawn, a dusty corner, the faint hum of silence.
Not sadness. Not rage.
Just... stillness.
> Honestly, I didn't plan for it to turn out this way. No one really does.
But now, this is my reality.
Kathlyn's throat tightened.
> I watched one of those dumb "get your life together" videos online today you know the kind. Dramatic music, quick cuts, promises of success if you just change everything about yourself.
Normally, I'd laugh at it. But this time?
It stuck.
She felt the flicker of sharpness Kai had felt — that tiny moment where the fog had parted, where some ancient part of him had whispered: Is this it?
> I don't even know why I'm thinking all this. Maybe I just want someone to understand.
Kathlyn wanted to reach out to shake him, to yell, to laugh, to pull him out of his own head.
But she couldn't move.
She was just a witness here.
> You're probably wondering how I ended up like this.
Why I dropped out.
Why I cut myself off.
To be honest?
It's because I hate people.
Kathlyn's fists clenched.
> Not in some edgy "I'm better than everyone" way.
I hate how people smile and lie.
I hate how they change their faces depending on who's watching.
I hate how they promise you things and then disappear when it gets hard.
She saw flickers
A young Kai, maybe ten, sitting on the edge of a playground, legs pulled to his chest as other kids ran by.
Kai at thirteen, standing at the edge of a lunch table, waiting to be noticed only to turn away before anyone did.
Kai at fifteen, forcing a smile at a gathering, laughing a half-beat too late, wondering why it felt wrong.
> I used to mooch off my parents, yeah.
But they're gone now.
Kathlyn's heart lurched.
> And with them went the last bit of me that believed in something called "home."
She bit the inside of her cheek, hard.
It didn't help. 𝑛𝘰𝑣𝘱𝑢𝑏.𝘤𝑜𝘮
> All I do now is train and read novels.
Training clears my mind.
Novels let me fill it again with stories, with people, with worlds that don't ask me to perform.
Kathlyn wanted to scream.
Not at him.
At the world that had folded him into this.
> I tried, you know.
To come back out.
Made friends. Went out. Even tried to date.
But everything felt like I was acting. Like I was being graded on every move
She saw it again —
Kai shaking hands, Kai laughing, Kai glancing sideways, always sideways, wondering if someone was laughing at him
> Eventually, I stopped trying.
Not because I gave up.
But because... I realized I liked myself better when I was alone.
Kathlyn's breath hitched.
Because she knew that feeling.
Too well.
> If you're hearing this if anyone's hearing this know this much:
I'm still here.
Still trying.
Even if it's in small, stupid, private ways no one sees.
The words came slower now.
Like they were reaching their edge.
> Please...
wait for me.
The black river surged, folding the memory back into itself, pulling Kathlyn sharply backward.
She gasped, stumbling, her heart pounding in her chest, her arms trembling at her sides.
The world around her was dark, quiet, still.
But her head was full too full of him.
Of the boy she'd thought she understood.
The boy who annoyed her, supported her, stood beside her only asking for her attention.
And now?
Now she knew.
She would never look at Kai the same way again.
The blackness shivered and then Kai's body hit the ground.
Kathlyn let out a sharp breath, barely catching herself before she collapsed beside him.
"Kai!" she called, voice hoarse
But he didn't stir.
His face was pale, far too pale, his dark hair plastered damply to his forehead. His chest rose and fell in shallow, shaky breaths. His eyes were shut tight, as if even in unconsciousness, he was still battling something only he could see.
Kathlyn dropped to her knees, grabbing his shoulders. "Kai! Hey! Wake up!"
Nothing.
But then
A faint shimmer stirred at the edges of her vision.
Kathlyn's head whipped up, her fists clenching instinctively
Only to freeze.
Tiny shapes floated out of the dark, like drifting flecks of silver light.
Fairies.
Dozens of them.
They circled Kai gently, their glow soft, their presence light. They didn't touch him, but they hovered close near his forehead, his chest, his hands.
Kathlyn's throat tightened.
She could hear them.
Not in words. Not exactly. But in impressions, like thoughts brushing lightly against her own.
"He's a friend."
"He's passed."
"He gave us a checkpoint."
Checkpoint?
Kathlyn's breath hitched.
She felt the shift under her feet the ripple in the black river, the faint pulse of something embedding itself in the space around them.
A checkpoint.
A place they could return to.
A mark in the trial's fabric, anchored by Kai's connection to the fairies.
Kathlyn let out a shaky laugh part relief, part disbelief.
"Of course," she whispered, brushing a hand through her hair. "Of course you pulled this off even unconscious, you ridiculous idiot."
The fairies drifted gently, weaving a loose ring of light around the two of them.
Kathlyn sat back on her heels, exhaling slowly.
They were safe For now.
They could leave rest
And when they were ready they could come back.
She looked down at Kai's pale, sleeping face, her chest tight.
"You better wake up soon," she murmured softly, her voice rough at the edges. "Because I am not carrying you to your room it would probably smell strange
