NOVPUB"I swear to all demons great and small, I'll kill him when he comes back," growled Katharina, pacing back and forth like a caged lioness. Her teeth nibbled her thumbnail so hard that they were almost in the flesh. "Four o'clock! FOUR! He said he was going to Paris. Using teleportation. TELEPORT, ADA. What does that take? Two and a half seconds? Three with transit between dimensions?!"
Ada, lying languidly on the sofa with a pillow over her belly, let out a sigh that sounded more like an autumn wind than a sign of concern.
"Despite my discomfort... I have to admit, our husband has never given us any reason to be suspicious. He loves us. He really does. I've never seen him even look at another woman with desire." she said, turning the ring on her finger. "Actually... they're the ones who always appear out of nowhere, like mosquitoes in a hellish summer."
Katharina stopped biting her nail for a second... only to raise her voice. "Mosquitoes? ADA! Have you heard of the Celestial Whore of the Greek Pantheon?!" she made a dramatic gesture with her arms, almost knocking over an enchanted vase.
"She's thirsty for cock! And our husband... our beloved, delicious, juicy, shamefully well-endowed husband has a dick worthy of becoming a cult in sixteen religions. She's going to strike!"
Ada raised an eyebrow, but before she could reply, the air in the room changed.
A sharp shiver ran down Katharina's spine. She froze in place. She felt two demonic energies of pure murderous intent bearing down on her with an intensity as sharp as a blade to the throat.
One was Ada, who, despite her previous calm, now had eyes that shone with a murderous gleam.
The other... was Roxanne. Sitting cross-legged in a scarlet armchair, eating an obscenely large piece of chocolate cake with strawberries. Each bite was a sweet, spiteful reminder: Vergil hadn't finished what he'd started with her, damn the Holy Church!!!
"I'm sorry..." said Katharina, bowing slightly... but the tone of her voice betrayed the mockery on her lips. She turned around with a smile that glinted like a poisoned dagger. "Oh, I forgot. Neither of you have yet managed to beat your respective mothers, or Viviane. Huh? How sad."
Clac.
Ada let the cushion fall to the floor.
"I'm going to kill you." she said with the calm of someone who had already decided how, where and with which blade.
Roxanne just licked her fork and laughed darkly. A cake might be sweet, but her patience was bitter.
Before the tension turned into combat, a crimson glow appeared in the center of the room. A magic circle was drawn in the air, spinning like the gears of an infernal machine. Arcane symbols glowed scarlet, and with a hissing crack, the floor opened up for a split second.
A woman emerged.
She wore tight leather that hugged her curves with the confidence of someone who knew the effect she was having. Her boots went down to her thighs. Her silver hair cascaded like a metallic waterfall down to her waist. His eyes, of an incandescent blue hue, swept the room like a sharp blade... until they landed on the three women.
"Ah... hello, mother-in-law." Katharina said with a hesitant smile, like someone stepping on thin glass. It had been some time since the daughters-in-law had last exchanged more than a glance with Sepphirothy. And every time she appeared... it was as if the air became heavier.
The Primordial crossed the room like an empress who knew exactly the weight of her name. She wore black leather like a second skin, and every step was the sound of authority in high heels. Her white hair flowed like liquid silver down to her waist, and her golden eyes sparkled with the dangerous calm of someone who has already killed with a smile.
"Hm. Hello, girls," he said, straightening the shoulders of his overcoat with casual elegance. "Where's my son? We've got some important updates on the vampires, and Kaguya shared the location of some old vampire hotspots... I think starting to look for Alucard's followers might be a good place to start." Her voice was calm, almost motherly. Almost.
Ada and Katharina exchanged a complicit glance. One of those silent looks that said: do we talk or do we survive?
Katharina sniffed, trying to sound natural. "You see, mother-in-law... Vergil went to Paris to... distract himself a bit. Relax, you know? Nothing much. An innocent little dimensional stroll."
"He went to meet Aphrodite," interrupted Roxanne, wiping her lips with the tip of her finger, as if she hadn't just thrown a verbal grenade into the middle of the room.
Ada turned her neck so fast that she almost caused a magical tornado.
Katharina closed her eyes like someone slapped by fate.
Sepphirothy, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow as if deciding whether to explode or incinerate.
"Roxanne..." Katharina growled between her teeth. "We were trying not to die."
Roxanne shrugged, her gaze as fiery and direct as embers under control. "Lying to your mother-in-law is disrespectful. And cowardly," she said calmly. "Besides... if you're going to die, do it with dignity. And sincerity."
Sepphirothy remained silent for an eternal second, just watching each of the three. The silence was so dense that the clock in the room was ashamed to keep ticking.
Finally, she took a deep breath... and said, "Aphrodite, huh?"
She adjusted the cuffs of her leather jacket. A slight smile formed at the corner of her lips. "All right. He's my son, not a fraud. But if she touches him for real... well, Olympus will lose a Goddess. Just like that... or a few Gods."
The tone was as calm as a whisper, but the weight was that of a death sentence.
Ada swallowed dryly.
Katharina twisted her fingers nervously.
Roxanne just smiled, satisfied that she had been honest.
Sepphirothy then crossed her arms, and her golden gaze fell back on them. "Now... who wants to tell me about that 'holy dick' thing you mentioned earlier?"
The silence hung like a sword about to fall. Katharina was petrified. Her mouth ajar, she searched for an excuse that simply... didn't exist. Not even a miracle, or a random dimensional portal, was going to save her now.
She laughed. That nervous giggle of someone seconds away from being thrown into the emotional volcano of a demonic mother-in-law.
"I-I can explain!" she said, raising her hands in surrender. "It was just an... expression! A way of saying that... that he's... well-endowed with responsibility and commitment, you know? A man with... a firm energy. Like... a rock. A rock with... presence. Upright presence - I mean, strong!"
Ada put her hand to her forehead. Roxanne stared at Katharina with a mixture of pity and amusement, as if she were watching a tragic-comic play.
It was at that moment that Viviane came down the stairs with a laundry basket balanced on her hip. She was wearing sports shorts and a T-shirt that clearly belonged to Vergil - too baggy, marked with the symbol of an ancient magical clan now extinct. Her hair in a messy bun and a pair of cute llama-print socks completed her unexpectedly domestic look.
"Hi, girls. Are we having a meeting or a lynching?" she asked distractedly, not really looking at the scene until her blue eyes met those of her 'mother-in-law' (she doesn't know if she can call her that yet), Sepphirothy.
Viviane froze in mid-step. The basket slipped a little around her waist. She absorbed the tension in the air like a good medium absorbs a spirit: in complete silence and with an immediate shiver.
"Is she all right?" Viviane murmured to Roxanne, who was putting the cutlery used for the cake she'd just eaten into the kitchen sink.
"She wanted to brag about having tasted her husband, then things got complicated. Well, no big deal, right?" Roxanne said, stretching. "But anyway, shouldn't you be finishing your forge?" She questioned.
"Those two naughty maids are in the human world now. Unfortunately, here in the Underworld, resources are very scarce. I need a few things. They're buying. But we're finishing everything." Viviane smiled.
"Oh, right. Husband needs to get stronger." Roxanne said and Viviane nodded.
"Speaking of husband..." muttered Viviane, frowning.
Just then the teleportation symbol lit up on the living room floor. A blood-red glow spread like living ink, and with the characteristic sound of dimensional displacement - a muffled ZWOOMPH! - the air shook... and the floor became sticky.
"Oh no, not that again..." Ada was already cringing, sensing that it wasn't going to be a smooth return.
Vergil appeared, as dramatic as ever: flowing black overcoat, clenched eyes, powerful aura and intimidating presence...
...but the whole impact of the entrance was ruined by one detail.
A half-naked woman was HANGING ON TO HIS LEGS, as if the man were a sacred log that she refused to let go of.
"TAKE ME WITH YOU, YOU WONDERFUL DEVIL!" she screamed, with tears in her eyes and her arms wrapped tightly around his thigh. "I FEEL HEAVEN WHEN YOU TOUCH ME! I'M GOING TO DIE IF YOU LEAVE ME HERE!!!"
Vergil stopped in the middle of the room with a serene expression of pure existential boredom. "That's... not what it looks like."
Everyone stared at him. Silence. Deadly. Thick. Destructive.
Viviane was the first to break the mood:"...who is that bitch?"
Roxanne followed, arms crossed and expression venomous: "Who is. That. Bitch?"
Katharina stood up from the sofa, her eyes wide: "WHO IS THAT BITCH?!"
Ada, more restrained but with a sinister aura rising around her: "Who. É. That. Bitch?"
Sepphirothy crossed his arms, and his presence darkened the whole room like an emotional eclipse. "I'd also like to know... who that whore is."
The woman raised her face. Her eyes were shining. Her hair was disheveled, her cleavage almost to her knees, her skin was sweaty and her expression was one of spiritual ecstasy. She smiled like someone who had finally reached enlightenment.
"Wow... how much divinity of love gathered in one place... what's that? A baquete?" She asked, smelling the scent of love. Which, of course, fueled her strength...
She then tried to climb a little further up Vergil's leg. "And that thigh? It's Mount Olympus. I want to live here!"
"She... is Aphrodite..." Vergil muttered, seeing how the murderous auras were heading in his direction...
Viviane stepped forward, the laundry basket still on her arm. "Can you give me a minute to throw this in the laundry before I skin someone alive?"
"No." said Katharina, Ada and Roxanne in unison.
Vergil sighed like a samurai who knew his time had come. "Will someone please get her off my leg before I try to kill her and cause a war between Demons and the Greek Pantheon?"
Aphrodite gripped tighter. "I'm not letting go of him!!!"
