NOVPUBThere was a long, awkward silence in Koji's apartment as all the Tsunemori players gathered there, not knowing what to say to their friend. As for Koji himself, he was not in a better situation here. He spent most of his time dozing off, staring at the wall with a blank expression. Even his parents were worried when they saw this, knowing that their son should have a problem with the volleyball team.
"Oi, Koji…" Asahi spoke cautiously. "Are you okay?" He cringed a little bit at his stupid question, knowing full well the answer to it.
"Oh, me? I am okay, Captain, don't worry about it!" Koji smiled widely. Too wide, even. That was probably the fakest smile that anyone had ever seen before, and they had several good actors on the team. "Don't worry, Captain. I don't have any grudge against you and the team. This is just a family matter here, and I cannot do anything about it." The boy shrugged helplessly.
Somehow, his answer made most of the people inside the room cringe.
Even though it wasn't the first time for Koji to address him as a captain, Asahi felt that at this time, his friend said it with a hint of sarcastic note in it. Coupled with the fact that Koji himself mentioned something about a grudge, Asahi's wild mind connected the dots quickly, realizing that his friend was talking about the captain role that should be in Koji's hand after the senior members retired before Akira himself gave it to Asahi. For Koji, this was probably a humiliating experience that also contributed more to the rift between him and the team.
As for Koji's parents, they frowned instantly after hearing what Koji had just said, knowing full well that they didn't force Koji to leave with them. The fact that Koji used this as a reason to leave the team told them enough about this current situation. Now, they needed to be patient here, because they had a feeling that the root of the problem would be revealed too today.
"So… What is the name of your new school, Senpai? Are you still planning to join the volleyball team?" Riku couldn't help but ask.
"My new school? It is called Kaisei High School, a good public school close to the Sapporo train station. As for joining the volleyball team again…" The boy snorted coldly. "Nah, I don't want to get close to the volleyball court again, ever."
"Um?!" The strong hate emotion laced in Koji's tone startled everyone here. "Why?!" Riku couldn't hold back the question that all the players there had in their heads.
"Oh, do you really need to ask?" Koji laughed sarcastically. "I mean, you know that I am not a talented player, right? I cannot do everything right, and I will not be able to shine brightly just like my teammates do. In the end, no matter how hard I tried, my teammates would forget about me. So, for an ordinary person like me, why would I need to waste my time on that? It would be better if I spent it studying for the college entrance examination next year, aiming for a good university and planning for a better future, right?"
His confession stunned all the people in the room. They didn't expect that Koji would have that strong negative thought about the volleyball team. They also somehow felt guilty for the jab that was thrown unnecessarily by Koji, about them somehow forgetting his presence on the team.
Meanwhile, in the corner of the room, Koji's father who stood there couldn't help but heave a sigh, finally seeing the problem here. Even though he could see why his son was blaming the volleyball team, he knew that the root of the problem itself lay in his son's insecurity over the team's rapid improvement. His boy felt like he was stuck on the spot, while everyone was running so far ahead of him. As time went by, he started losing motivation and blamed everything on anything but himself.
"Do you really feel that about the team, Koji?" Okamura asked, his expression was sad. In the team, he was Koji's best friend, and while their presence sometimes faded into the background, they felt like they belonged to the team, and every practice was always a fulfilling day.
Or… So that was what the libero thought, before Koji finally confessed his true feelings in front of him right now.
"That is not my personal feeling, Oka, but the reality in the team. You are not that naïve, you should've realized the same, right?" Koji shrugged nonchalantly. "After all, your role as a libero is easily forgotten, especially with two talented defensive players like Yuki and Kai on the team. If anything, you should be the one who suffered the most, right? I cannot help but wonder, how could you stay so long in this team?"
This made everyone frown immediately. While they were sad about Koji's true feelings for the team and somehow felt guilty for not recognizing this issue until it was too late, they didn't appreciate how Koji was trying to influence Okamura here. After all, this was not something that they did deliberately, and the only reason why they forgot about Koji's presence was because the boy sometimes was too proud to strike up the conversation first. He was different from Okamura who was easy for everyone to approach, and while indeed, Okamura's role on the court was not something obvious, he was still an important figure inside the team, especially with his fun personality that always boosted the team's mood whenever they were feeling down.
As for Okamura himself, the libero just stared at his friend in pity, somehow, for the first time ever, feeling like he didn't know his friend at all. In the end, he was the first one who stood from the seat and bowed his head deeply. "I don't know why you suddenly said that, but I am sorry, Koji, I really enjoy my time with the team. I am sorry that you have to feel this way, but if this is your last attempt to break the team's harmony, I am afraid that it won't work against me. I am sorry that I cannot be your good friend, being there when you need me the most. But I am sorry, I cannot accept your words at all. I am happy with the team, and I hope you will also have the same happiness in your new place. But right now… I don't even know you at all…"
Right after that, as if he couldn't bear being in the same room with Koji, Okamura left without hesitation, followed by the other players who said goodbye to Koji's parents first, leaving the boy alone dozing off while staring at the wall with his usual blank expression, feeling empty.
