NOVPUB“Uh... Apology?”
Lan Hua nodded silently, her face filled with remorse.
“Yes... I did something really inappropriate to Ethan An in the subway just now. It’s because... well, it was the first time a boy was so close to me, and when I caught a whiff of Ethan’s scent, my mind just... went blank...”
As she spoke, Lan Hua’s face flushed bright red, as though the memory of what she had just done was playing vividly in her mind. She stammered through her explanation, as if she were regaining her sense of shame and dignity all at once — the demeanor she should have had as a girl all along.
“In that moment of utter confusion, I ended up doing something like that... I’m really, really sorry!”
“Mhm.”
Maybe it was because we weren’t physically touching anymore, but Lan Hua seemed to have cooled down, her mood returning to normal. But instead of appearing unsatisfied, she looked more like she was filled with regret — the kind of expression you make when you realize you’ve done something terribly stupid.
Like last night, when I used my hand to relieve myself over and over again, and now this girl was basically admitting she had done the same thing to me all the way to the station.
I rubbed my chin and nodded repeatedly.
I understood her explanation completely.
No, more than that — I could empathize!
After all, when it came down to it, Lan Hua was just like me. She just couldn’t control her urges.
A feeling of camaraderie welled up inside me. After all, her motives weren’t all that different from mine. In that sense, we were two of a kind.
Ahh, I get it. It’s really hard to hold back... When someone’s body is pressed so close against yours, there’s no way you can just sit there and not touch them.
Sure, it might be a bit inhumane to say this after the fact, but Snowy’s body was practically childlike. Touching a kid isn’t that big of a deal, right...?
There was a moment when I even considered just pushing Snowy down and doing it until morning, leaving the consequences to be dealt with later. But in the end, I held back. I think I deserve some credit for that. At least I didn’t actually do it, right? I didn’t behave like a scumbag, did I?
Ahaha... Ahahahaha...
Lan Hua kept bowing and raising her head, apologizing over and over again, her hair a disheveled mess from all the motion.
“In that situation, no one could have possibly resisted. I thought that since it was just a boy being touched by a girl, it was fine. I used that excuse to justify my behavior, and that’s how I ended up doing something so shameful. If only I’d been stronger, I could have held back!”
Pfft! An arrow shot straight through my knee, and I dropped down on one knee, unable to hold myself up.
“I even thought, ‘It’s not a big deal for a guy to be touched by a girl,’ and used that as an excuse to cover up my behavior. That was so despicable of me!”
Pfft! The second arrow pierced through my other knee, and I collapsed completely to the ground.
“In the end, I still wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to do even worse things to him. I’m just a shameless, filthy pervert!!!”
Pfft! The final arrow pierced straight through my heart, delivering a fatal blow that made me slump forward, arms hanging limp, in the perfect pose of utter defeat.
She was berating herself, but every word felt like a direct hit to me as well.
Trying to use Lan Hua’s “similar behavior” as an excuse to lessen my own guilt... I was truly the lowest of the low.
In the end, I couldn’t lie to myself. Every time I tried to find excuses, it only served to remind me of what a pathetic, cowardly scumbag I really was. And so, I sank deeper into the abyss of self-loathing.
After all, an apology wasn’t going to resolve any of this... ORZ
“Now that I’ve thoroughly reflected on my actions, please forgive me, Ethan An!”
I was no longer all that concerned about what Lan Hua did to me. What really bothered me was Snowy... Using just her hair and fingernails as compensation seemed far too cheap. I’d practically tainted her innocence and still walked around as if nothing happened.
But to break up with Lillian and then pursue Snowy...
That would be a death sentence.
I’m not joking. I would actually be killed.
Pissing off Lillian Ji was no joke. She would definitely make my death a living nightmare.
She had a thousand ways to make me disappear from this world... I never doubted that for a second.
The fact that I managed to survive after rejecting her was a miraculous alignment of luck, a once-in-a-lifetime fluke.
Now that I’d used up the last of my luck, what could I rely on?
Snowy?
Abandon one girl only to run into the arms of another... Why did that scenario feel so familiar? Didn’t some scumbag with the same name as me do that before...?
Which means... am I now walking the path of a scumbag? Is there a future where a blood-soaked bad end is waiting for me?
I pictured the scene in my mind.
Snowy, covered in blood, her snow-white hair and crimson eyes shining eerily, wielding a knife and a short blade, the air around her thick with killing intent.
Lillian, with a crazed expression, her eyes blackened by madness, holding a doll that looked just like me, her smile as icy as the void...
The two of them standing face to face, staring each other down, each radiating murderous intent, ready to tear each other apart.
Was it a battle to claim me... or to dispose of me?
Either way, the only two endings waiting for me were becoming either a “whole corpse” or a “dismembered corpse”...
The vision was so vivid that it sent a shiver down my spine.
Ugh, my stomach hurts...
Not hearing any response from me, Lan Hua called my name in a concerned tone.
“Ethan? Are you okay?”
But I was still trapped in that dark vision of my future, unable to pull myself out of my own self-loathing.
“Ethan? Hey, why are you lying there like that...? Well, if that’s the case, then I’ll kneel too!”
I heard a dull thud, and a pair of pale, slender legs in a black skirt entered my line of sight.
Lan Hua had knelt down in front of me.
I slowly lifted my head to look at her, my expression blank and lifeless.
Her eyes widened in shock when she saw the utter despair on my face. Did she misunderstand? Did she think her actions had pushed me to this point?
Well, it did start with you, but it really isn’t all your fault... Suddenly dropping to your knees like that is going too far.
I should get up before this gets even more awkward.
I had just started to lift myself up when Lan Hua suddenly bowed down in front of me, her forehead touching the ground in a classic dogeza apology pose.
Hey, hey, isn’t this just like a couple performing a wedding bow?!
“Hey, don’t do that. Get up,” I said, reaching out a hand to pull her up. But then I remembered how she’d grabbed my hand and toyed with it the first time we met, and my hand froze halfway.
Lan Hua remained kneeling, her hair cascading down onto the ground, her snow-white neck exposed to the air.
“If you don’t accept my apology, I won’t get up!”
“Uh... Okay, okay. I forgive you.”
“That tone... It sounds so insincere... Does that mean my apology wasn’t sincere enough?!”
Lan Hua lifted her head, squeezed her eyes shut, and with her cheeks flushed red, she shouted,
“I-I heard that when apologizing, baring your chest shows the greatest sincerity! I-I-I-I’ll bare my chest right now!”
With that, Lan Hua started unbuttoning her white blouse. One button, two buttons...
What the hell?!
“Hey, hey! Don’t do that! People are watching!”
“I-I get it! These days, the trend isn’t baring your chest while apologizing, but showing ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ your stomach, right? Then I’ll show my stomach...”
Before I could stop her, Lan Hua had already lifted her shirt. Since the bottom two buttons were already undone, she managed to raise it without much resistance, exposing her belly.
That smooth, pale waist and her flat, soft stomach — not a trace of fat — along with a cute, tiny navel, were all laid bare right in front of me.
Lan Hua tilted her head slightly, her mouth forming a little “へ” shape. Whether from nervousness or because the wet shirt made her cold, she trembled slightly, her hands gripping the edges of her shirt like a pair of cat paws.
“I’m really, really sorry!”
Her eyes were red, the corners glistening with tears. Her expression was earnest, so utterly sincere that it would be impossible for anyone to reject her apology after seeing that.
And I was no exception.
Actually, I was more like, thank you for the feast.
“Alright, alright. I forgive you. Now put your shirt down.”
I extended the hand that had been frozen in midair, placed it on her shoulder, and gently lifted her up.
Then, I quickly pulled her shirt back down to cover her stomach. I glanced over my shoulder. Luckily, there were only a few passersby casting curious glances in our direction... Fortunately, this vending machine was tucked away in a relatively secluded corner.
“Thank you... I’m really, really sorry!”
“Now that we’ve cleared things up, I’ll head home first... Lan Hua, you should go home too.”
“Um! My house is in District Six as well. Can we go back together?”
A stalker inviting you to walk home together?
Would you like to accept this invitation?
YES/NO
My brain, which had been poked full of holes, automatically generated this option screen.
Folks, I’ve found myself in a tricky situation again. What do you think I should do?
If any ghosts out there are listening, could you answer my question?
It’s urgent. Waiting online for a reply!
Ugh, too bad my phone’s dead. Otherwise, I could ask the internet for advice...
But it was already around seven or eight in the evening. Letting a girl walk home alone at night didn’t seem right.
And since she had already apologized and clearly regretted her actions, she probably wouldn’t pull any more weird stunts.
If we’re just taking the subway together, it should be fine, right? Alright then, let’s just agree.
“Okay, let’s go together,” I said.
Upon hearing my response, Lan Hua’s expression immediately brightened. Her smile bloomed like a sunflower, radiant and dazzling.
All it took was me agreeing to something as simple as this, and she looked so incredibly happy... A pink name tag, huh...
“Why don’t you wipe yourself off first? You must feel pretty sticky and uncomfortable,” I said.
“Oh... okay.”
While wiping herself off, Lan Hua let slip a reluctant expression, muttering something like, “Such a waste...” under her breath.
Come on, don’t do that... You’re making me feel really awkward here.
After she was done, I awkwardly said, “Let’s go, then,” and hurriedly started walking ahead to avoid further awkwardness.
Lan Hua obediently followed behind me, not walking alongside me but maintaining a subtle distance.
We weren’t walking close enough to look like friends, but not far enough to look like strangers either.
She just kept trailing behind me, like a ghost haunting its target.
A stalker, through and through.
