NOVPUB“Whoa, amazing! Another drink!”
“Just forget that scumbag already!”
“Yeah, yeah! Let him go!”
“To heartbreak!”
“Cheers!”
“...Haa...”
Another glass of liquor was passed to her. She didn’t refuse. She downed it in one go.
She wasn’t worried about getting drugged—the drinks were mixed right in front of her, and the bar was randomly chosen. The owner didn’t seem to know the man she came with.
So she wasn’t particularly concerned about falling into a trap. In fact, even if they had slipped something into her drink, she would've been able to tell without even tasting it.
She’d ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) long since lost count of how many drinks she’d had. Couldn’t even remember the name of the guy who brought her here. But thanks to the alcohol, at last, she was starting to forget some things...
Except Ethan An.
Too many things. Her mind was overflowing with Ethan. Even the fragments she did manage to forget were just scraps—leftovers.
There was still so, so, so much Ethan in her head.
She’d cared too much. Every detail, every word, every look from him—she had etched it all deep into her memory. So now, forgetting him had become impossible.
The moment she thought about Ethan, her chest tightened, and tears threatened to fall again.
The man in the hat took advantage of the moment and placed his hand on her shoulder. Even through the fabric, she frowned in discomfort.
It felt disgusting.
His hand was rough.
Calloused from too many hours gaming. Scars on his palm. Sticky with sweat. A filthy, revolting hand.
Repulsive.
He just wanted to sleep with her.
Saw a beautiful woman crying alone on the street and got ideas. Thought he could get her drunk and take advantage of her.
So obvious. So predictable.
She felt a little regret. And, strangely, a little relief.
Regret that the man she met wasn’t someone gentle like Ethan. Relief that all she ever ran into were scumbags she’d never be able to fall for.
If it had been someone kind—if he’d just offered her a word of comfort—even if she’d regretted it later, even if it only numbed the pain temporarily, she probably would’ve thrown herself into his arms right then and there...
And then, just like that, she might’ve given up on Ethan completely. Let time do the rest. Let the pain fade.
But luckily, it was just another worthless man. Which meant she could still stay sober...
Was this fate’s way of telling her not to let go just yet?
Ugh... Ethan...
“Ugh—hurk...”
She had still drunk too much. She couldn’t help but vomit.
The man in the hat looked delighted—maybe he thought she’d finally passed out.
Too bad for you~
She was still fully conscious.
It was just her stomach that had given out.
He said something by her ear. She didn’t bother listening. Just nodded lazily, and he took that as a sign to haul her out of the bar.
Taking her to a motel? Hah... Want to touch her? Well too bad—she wasn’t letting him.
Every time he tried to touch her, she’d pretend to stumble the other way, giggling internally.
What an idiot~ He can’t even tell I’m not actually drunk~ So~ stupid~
She even faked another retch, and he quickly dragged her into a nearby alleyway in a panic.
“Heh heh...”
She leaned against the wall, swept her hair behind her ear, and gave them a hazy smile. The men gulped and stepped closer...
Oh my, you’re already losing control over this much?
“Heehee... I’ll give you guys a chance. Hic...”
Call it payment for the drinks.
“Whoever can swear to never touch another woman in their life... who’ll never lie to me, never hide anything from me, never betray me, never...”
She counted off on her fingers, but before she could finish, the man in the hat let out a snort and gave her a suggestive wink.
“C’mon, sweetheart, time to face reality. There’s no such thing as a man who doesn’t fool around... I bet your ex dumped you ‘cause he was two-timing you. That’s just how guys are—when they get bored, they move on. Total loyalty? What you’re looking for isn’t a man—it’s a dog.”
No such thing as a faithful man, huh...
Then why did Ethan An reject her... Why...
If he were the type to fool around, he wouldn’t have been so firm about turning her down...
The memory stung again. Her expression turned cold as she said to them:
“If you can’t do it, then get lost.”
“Heh heh...”
Clearly, they had no intention of backing down. One of them pulled a butterfly knife from his pocket.
“Get lost? No, sweetheart, you’re the one who’s coming for a ride. You drank our booze—least you can do is pay up, yeah?”
I knew it...
Haa... If she screamed right now... would Ethan come running to save her?
No. He wouldn’t. He was probably already home by now...
“Yeah... if it’s not Ethan, it’s just no use.”
“What was that?”
...Fine. Consider this a sobering-up workout.
One of the men reached out to grab her.
But she caught his wrist and pressed down hard on the artery. His knife dropped. She snatched it midair, twisted his body, and slammed her foot between his legs. He collapsed, howling.
The others rushed in—
Too slow.
She weaved between them, carving slashes into any exposed skin.
Back then, if it were multiple men, she would’ve been completely helpless... but now...
Somehow, just thinking of Ethan made her feel like she could do anything.
Ugh... I’m supposed to be forgetting him—so why do I keep thinking about him...?!
Gritting her teeth, she drove the blade into another man’s palm, screaming:
“AAAGHHHH! MY HAND! MY HAND!!”
“Ethan An! Ethan An! Ethan An is the—!”
Gugh...
The words caught in her throat.
“...Ugh... ugh, ugh...”
She couldn’t bring herself to say she hated him...
She still liked him.
Liked him even more now.
Even after he rejected her—she still liked him so much.
Even the way he rejected her was so cool. So calm. So unlike her—he wasn’t nervous, didn’t stammer, just said it loud and clear, like he meant it... Ugh... it hurt. It still hurt so much...
He turned her down even before she could confess. A one-sided love that failed from the start...
Why did Ethan An know she liked him?
Why did he reject her so directly?
Was it because of Lillian Ji? Because of Snowy Jiang? Because of his sisters?
No... that probably wasn’t it. It wasn’t because of Lillian Ji, or Snowy Jiang, or his sisters. It was because Ethan was just that kind of person.
He was the type to call things exactly what they were—plain, direct, and practical to the core.
He hated messy things. He hated complicated things. He hated wrong things.
And he also hated... someone like me, who was vague and unclear about her feelings.
That’s why he rejected me so decisively.
Maybe he already foresaw how much trouble it would cause if things dragged on. So he cut it off clean, right from the start.
I was too reckless. I should’ve taken it slowly. I should’ve started as friends... moved forward one step at a time...
Next time, I’ll give it my all. I won’t let him—
Next time?
Do I even have a next time?
Isn’t it already... over?
“...There’s no next time...?”
The realization made me break down in tears again.
“No! Ugh... I don’t want this! I don’t want it to end like this!”
Cut it out, slice it away, erase it all!
“AAAGH! HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP!”
Just cut it off! If I can just cut away this failure, everything will be fine!
“AAGH! MY LEG! Boss, help me! I got stabbed in the leg!”
I don’t want it to end. I want to start over. I want to keep watching Ethan!
“Uwahhh... I—I’ll never mess with pretty women again... so scary... Mom... women are terrifying...”
Because... because I love him.
I love Ethan An...!
“Crazy bitch...! Run! Get the wounded out first!”
When I came back to my senses, the men were already gone... Huh? Where did they all go...?
I haven’t vented enough yet...
“L-Lan...?”
A familiar voice. I turned around and smiled at her.
“Ah, Sakura, what are you doing here?”
The moment Sakura saw me, she ran up and grabbed me in a panic.
“You—! What the hell happened?! Why are you covered in blood?!”
“Mm? Oh, it’s not mine. Heehee, I just gave them a little lesson, that’s all.”
“We can talk about this later. Come home with me—stay at my place tonight.”
Sakura grabbed my wrist, trying to pull me away, but my feet didn’t move. They felt like they were stuck to the ground.
“Sakura, do you know what love feels like? It’s incredible... When you fall for someone, the pull of it—gravity doesn’t even matter anymore.”
I let the blood-soaked butterfly knife fall from my hand and turned to face her, holding both her hands in mine.
“Sakura, he rejected me... I failed again. I cried so hard just now. I tried to hate him, tried to forget him, tried to ruin myself... but I couldn’t.”
I couldn’t forget him at all.
In fact, the feeling just got stronger.
“Now that I think about it, even being hated is a whole new experience. Because only by being hated can I truly understand just how overwhelming love can be...!”
Because the only one who can hurt me this deeply... is Ethan.
The only one who can make me fall in love again and again... is Ethan. Heehee...
“...Cherry, you...”
Sakura stared at me wide-eyed... Was there something strange about me?
“Sakura, I love him... I still love him! Even if he doesn’t love me back, I still love him~ Isn’t that amazing~?”
“Amazing?! What part of this is amazing?!”
“All of it!”
Listen, listen, Sakura—Ethan’s lips are so soft, you know? And his butt, too—firm, real firm. And his chest—so broad, I just want to bury my face in it and nuzzle-nuzzle-nuzzle...
“All of it! All of it! All of it! All of it! All of it! All of it! All of it! All of it! I love everything about him!”
When I love him, when I love Ethan, I’m the happiest girl in the world...!!!
My head, my body, my soul—he fills them all, completely, entirely, endlessly...
My heart stopped for nine seconds. Then it started beating again.
My world has no color without him.
Ethan’s eyes are even more honest and beautiful than I ever imagined.
The one I watch—the one I know best, love most, care about more than anything.
Only when I’m watching him... do I feel like he belongs to me.
If that’s the case, then I’ll use these eyes to burn his image into my vision forever.
“Cherry, you’re seriously not okay right now!”
Sakura yanked her hands free and grabbed my shoulders, shouting at me.
“Not okay? No way~ Heehee, I’m feeling amazing~ Ideas are pouring out of me—I want to put them all into action right now!”
Oh right, I’ve got a great idea.
“I’ve decided, Sakura! I used to care only about myself, but from now on, Ethan will be the main theme of my life!”
Sakura’s brows furrowed.
“You mean... you’re going to keep stalking him?”
“No, physical stalking is outdated. You can’t watch him 24/7 that way...”
As much as I’d love to follow Ethan around all the time, I’m still just human. I can’t watch him while I’m asleep. And when he enters certain places, I can’t follow...
This body alone isn’t enough. So...
“Sakura... can I borrow your surveillance equipment? And doesn’t Leon have some abandoned cameras?”
“You...! You’re—!”
She seemed to realize what I was planning, gripping my arm in a panic.
I immediately dropped to my knees, hugging her legs and pleading.
“Please, Sakura~ This is the one request I’ll ever ask of you! Please~!”
“............Fine. Fine! You can have them! Now get up already!”
Yes~! I knew Sakura wouldn’t let me down~!
“But you’d better know when to stop, Cherry! Don’t go too far! You’re already in way too deep!”
“I know, I know~ Thanks, Sakura~ You’re my second favorite~”
“Hmph... Only second?”
“You’re on the same level as my parents~”
“Alright, alright, let’s go home. Just look at you right now... you’ve got no idea how worried I was...”
“Okay~ okay~”
I’ll burn him into my vision. I’ll watch him forever...
My most beloved...
Of course, it’s always—
Ethan An.
Heeheehee...
Title Updated:
[Stalker (Intermediate)] → [Stalker (Advanced)]
Color Fixation:
Pink (Love) 50% + Purple (Possessiveness) 50%
